In Closing: Final Thoughts on my Time in the Netherlands

January 1, 2011: Parrish, Florida, U.S.A

What matters most is what you think of first when you look back.

Sitting here at my laptop in my parents' home in Parrish, FL, it is hard to believe that it was already a year ago that I was preparing to head to the Netherlands for five months to study abroad. I knew little about what lay ahead, no one in this new place, and little about the Dutch culture. I was anxious and worried about making friends, fitting in, enjoying my time in the Netherlands, being homesick and being safe. I was simultaneously super excited about the possibilities of meeting new people, learning another language, traveling all over Europe and not working for five whole months! I had no idea what was in store for me in the months ahead and thinking about it gave me mixed feelings. There were moments I thought I should just back out and not go. That would be simpler, right? I know I can take another semester at Agnes Scott, why not just stick with the norm?

Thankfully, I did not talk myself out of boarding the plane from Atlanta to Philly, Philly to London or London to Schipol. I made the 14 hour journey and landed safely in Amsterdam with all my luggage and very jetlagged. I found my way out of customs and to the train station and managed to get on the train with all my things and disembark at Amsterdam Centraal. I laugh as I think back to those first few moments really setting foot in Netherlands. Stepping out of the train station, I was too tired to be totally astonished by the beauty that is Amsterdam. I was too focused on boarding the correct tram to my hostel to soak in the whole picture of this magnificent city. Despite a few turn arounds and the difficulties of wheeling my suitcase through the snow, I made it to the hostel. This was my first impression of the Netherlands, and it was great. Everyone was so hospitable at the hostel and made sure that I had what I needed. I am thankful that I chose to stay there for my first night in Netherlands.

I remember meeting the other American girls, Martha, Kelly, Audrey and Maddie, and taking the train with all of them to Tilburg the next morning. I was thankful to make this 1.5 hour train journey with all of them, as none of us knew where we were going! I will never forget being picked up by the ESN mentors who drove us to Verbs and lugged our suitcases all the way up the stairs for us! I remember settling into my room and walking down to Westermarkt with my new friends, Anti and Jay for a bite to eat and some grocery shopping. I also remember the fit I had trying to connect to the internet and getting my laptop battery to work,  since I  did not have  the correct wall plug. What a hassle!

I was only homesick once while I was abroad. The second day I was in Tilburg was a Sunday. In Netherlands, most things are closed on Sundays. There was not much going on, as the University was closed and there was only one event for the exchange students that evening. I remember thinking that day, "What am I doing here...why did I do this?" I remember missing home and wanting to come back already. I think that was mostly the jetlag taking its toll on me, because after the next few days, my tune changed 180 degrees! I quickly came to love Tilburg, made friends right away, and acquainted myself with my new home. Although quite different from my life in the States, I knew I was going to love this place.

There are so many memories I hold dear concerning Tilburg. The whole experience was phenomenal. Words cannot even describe. Lifechanging. Unforgettable. Epic. Inspirational. These all sound so cliche. But really, my time in Tilburg has affected every dimension of my life and changed the way that I think about things. I have been introduced to all parts of the world through the diverse group of international students I interacted with at Tilburg. I have learned more about the Dutch culture than can be merely taught in a classroom. I have experienced culture, traditions, and conventions that I have come to cherish. I have been inspired by those that I met during my time abroad to consider a range of views, love unconditionally, and appreciate the fine details of life. I have a new passion for traveling and learning new languages and cultural traditions. Every time I hear someone with an accent, I am inclined to ask them where they are from, and I have had some awesome conversations with people from all over about the places I visited and what these places mean to them.

I began this final entry to my study abroad blog with a quote, "What matters most is what you think of first when you look back". Almost everyday I have a flashback to some moment in the Netherlands: riding my bike to class, cooking in the kitchen in Verbs, shopping in Albert Heijn, studying in the University library... Each of these moments are so precious to me, but my most vivid memories are those that I spent with the amazing friends that I made while abroad. Coffee at 90  with the girls, late nights out in Tilburg, shots at Clancy's, waking up super early to catch the next bus/train/plane to get to our next destination. These are just a few of the many fond memories I have with the friends I made while abroad. These people mean the world to me, and I cannot explain the strong bond that exists between us, even though we were only together for five months. Something really bonds people together when thrown into a totally new environment with total strangers. The friends I made are friends for life, and I am proud to say that we still (over six months later) talk on a weekly basis. My favorite memories from abroad include these friends. They are what I think of first when I look back.

While many people have been dissing 2010 as the new year has just rolled in, I have to say that 2010 was probably actually one of the best years of my life. This has definitely been a year of growth, change, challenges, love, and unforgettable moments. Although I am happy to usher in the new year since 2011 holds graduation, grad school and new internships in store, I am sad to say good bye to 2010. Sad to say goodbye too the year that holds so many fond memories, trips, laughter, and people who are dear to me. Its also hard to believe that this is the final post of this blog. This truly concludes my study abroad adventures.

While I will still inevitably live vicariously through friends studying abroad in Europe and through my memories and pictures, I am determined to be more focused on the present in 2011. There is so much to think about for the future, so much in store for me  in this new year, but I really want to make sure that I enjoy each and every bit  of it. I want to be in the moment every moment and live for the now. I tend to be a planner, and while that is great and works out well, I also want to make a point to live for the moment, be spontaneous, and enjoy every second of 2011.

A year ago, I sat in this chair, nervous about what the year ahead held in store for me, anxious about going abroad, and undecided about my post-Agnes plans. Tonight I sit here a stronger, more mature, worldly woman. I am still nervous about the upcoming year, anxious about graduate school, and uncertain about the fine details after I graduate in May, but I know that everything is under control. God has this all in His hands,as He always does. As I say goodbye to 2010, a year to remember, I heartily welcome 2011. I know this year will hold grandiose things in store for me as well.